Thursday, February 10, 2011

30 Day challenge- Day 1- Single Life

Every time I think about blogging I panic. "What will I write about? How can I keep my (3) readers interested?? What do I have to say for myself??" I still haven't quite figured out a "theme" for this here blog yet. (Which is fine since the title covers it all. Ummm... Erica. That's pretty much all you're gonna get.)

In order to give myself SOME structure (30 days worth to be exact), I've decided to take the 30 day meme that's floating around on LJ (old school, I know) and post my answers here. Without further ado, here's 30 things you probably weren't dying to know about me but are sure to find (mildly) fascinating (they will be answered one entry at a time):

Day 01: Your current relationship. If single, discuss being single
Day 02: Where you'd like to be in 10 years
Day 03 - Your views on drugs and alcohol
Day 04 - Your views on religion
Day 05 - A time you thought about ending your own life
Day 06 - Write 30 interesting facts about yourself.
Day 07 - Your zodiac sign and if you think it fits your personality
Day 08 - A moment you felt the most satisfied with your life
Day 09 - How you hope your future will be like
Day 10 - Discuss your first love and first kiss.
Day 11 - Put your ipod on shuffle and write 10 songs that pop up.
Day 12 - Bullet your whole day.
Day 13 - Somewhere you’d like to move or visit
Day 14 - Your earliest memory
Day 15 - Your favorite blogs
Day 16 - Your views on mainstream music
Day 17 - Your highs and lows of this past year
Day 18 - Your beliefs
Day 19 - Disrespecting your parents
Day 20 - How important you think education is
Day 21 - One of your favorite shows
Day 22 - How have you changed in the past 2 years?
Day 23 - Give pictures of 5 guys who are famous and who you find attractive.
Day 24 - Your favorite movie and what it’s about
Day 25 - Someone who fascinates you and why
Day 26 - What kind of person attracts you?
Day 27 - A problem that you have had
Day 28 - Something that you miss
Day 29 - Goals for the next 30 days

DAY 01: Your current relationship. If you are single, discuss being single

Yes loyal readers it is true, I am currently involved in a sordid relationship- with myself. I think this is a very appropo question to start with because it has been a topic at the forefront of my mind/therapy sessions lately. Those who have known me for a while know that I do not normally fair well in the world of singledom. I do not typically enjoy being single and/or lonely- hence my penchant for imaginary friends that started as a toddler and mayormaynotstillcontinuetothisday. I've never been good at being alone, and ever since my first official boyfriend at the age of 17, I've bounced in and out of relationships much like Lindsay Lohan bounces in and out of jail/rehab. Those who know my most recent history know I've been "technically" single for a little over 2 years but "more realistically" single for about 10 months. This is one of the longest stretches of single life that I've had, and it hasn't been easy- until recently. I can honestly say that for the first time in my LIFE, I am embracing being single. And you know what? Once I made the decision to, it hasn't been half bad! Here's what I realized: When you're single, you get to do whatever the hell you want. There is no one to answer to, no one to explain yourself to, no one to impress, no one to worry about. Everything is about me. And as selfish as that sounds- it's important to recognize that (despite having a self-titled blog and 1200 pictures on facebook), I never make it about me. I have spent the majority of my life making it about everyone else around me. I am a people pleaser and spent the bulk of my youth trying to change and mold myself to impress others because for some reason it was important that the mean girls in middle school liked me (or at least stopped making fun of me), or that the "cool kids" in high school embraced me. I have been doing a TON of soul searching in the past 2 years... all that "searching for myself" stuff... and I've finally found it. Without having anyone I feel a need to impress or mold myself for- I can just be me, and be happy that way. And I really do like me, she's actually pretty cool. Ironically, this is supposed to be the thing that draws the "right" people to me and eventually the man of my dreams is supposed to run into me at a Starbucks or something. In the meantime, I'm enjoying being a single girl in NYC. I get to date whomever/whenever I want, go out and party when I feel like it, and watch all of my friends around me in pain-in-the-ass relationships complain while I plan my next Vegas adventure/ski trip/Jersey Shore-marathon-dinner-extravaganza.

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